A tight hug means dating

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Before, we were everyday women dealing with everyday creeps.Now, we must contend with the knowledge that the everyday woman, by virtue of existing in the public sphere, has endured untold violations.Actions that once seemed playful or relatively harmless now seem sinister, invisible grease for the wheels of an orchestrated system of humiliation designed to instill self-doubt and fear into women who might have otherwise posed a threat to male control.“What happened to me was something that was so casual, I almost didn’t even consider it sexual harassment, even though it was beyond my desire,” wrote the Of course, not every uncomfortable experience is harassment, and not every woman is redefining these experiences as abuse.Male friends have contacted me out of the blue to ask me to be honest, to tell them if I think they’ve ever done anything to earn them a spot on one of the many semi-secret lists of sexists and creeps bouncing around the internet.When I told a Lyft driver in Detroit that I was in town for the Women’s Convention in late October, he asked if I was “a #Me Too,” too.People who felt flattered as teenagers or young adults by sexual advances from older authority figures grew to see such pursuits as “gross” or an abuse of power as they aged.Survivors of verbal harassment were sometimes wary of naming it as such if it never escalated into anything physical.

The definition will grow more capacious as we retrain our antennae to categorize certain male behavior as threatening that we’d previously been conditioned to dismiss or ignore.Many have seen themselves in the stories of alleged abuse by Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K., Brett Ratner, John Besh, James Toback, Jesse Lacey, or any of the dozens of other men who’ve been accused of sexual exploitation in recent weeks.What seems like a gray area to one person is outright harassment to another.Many of the anecdotes that respondents described, especially those that involved unwanted physical touch, could easily be filed under the graver labels of sexual abuse or assault.

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