Dating and rejection
As a guy in his early twenties, there’s only a few things in life I care about. Otherwise the shy guy is terrified of getting turned down, or ignored, or being laughed at, or made to look like a loser. And the lessons I learned went far beyond just dating. (I recently spent six months backpacking throughout southeast asia and it was .) And, last of all… The woman usually has to make all the moves and give a lot of obvious signals she is interested. Their options are limited to their social circle, work, or maybe meeting someone drunk at a party.Whether that means being seen as the fun, outgoing person at the party.Or getting that girl to laugh and be really into them.Note: Rejection is the most serious problem faced in surgery involving organ transplants.
When your idea of success is trying to control how people respond to you, then you’re in for trouble. In my example of approaching girls, I decided that my only criteria for success is that I actually walked up and talked to them.
You can’t ever really control someone else’s behaviour. In other words, no matter how she reacted I still succeeded.
You can’t control whether they will like you or be annoyed by you. By adopting this mindset, I found it took a lot of pressure off of me.
(Like this one helping people who have shyness or social anxiety.) My free time pursuing different interests like reading unusual books, drawing, exercising and travelling. One of the reasons shy guys have almost no success with women is because they fear rejection. Now, I have more options than 99% of other guys out there, because the majority are too scared to approach a random girl.
In fact, I was a virgin into my twenties despite being decent looking and having nothing “wrong” with me so to speak except for being extremely shy.