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"Many men have openly shared with me that they'd love to 'make a marriage right this time.'" Andrea, 47, who met her husband on Christian Mingle.com, experienced this phenomenon first-hand.
"Our previous marriages and subsequent divorces taught us what's important to fight for and how not to sweat the small stuff," she says.5. "Many marriages fail because men didn't realize that they wanted a woman with certain traits the first time around," says relationship expert April Masini,author of "Now they do, and you benefit from a man who's clear on this."Divorcés' straightforwardness can save you a lot of dating guesswork, adds clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph D."They may be more upfront about their limitations and strengths resulting in less game-playing and time wasted in relationships that won't work."6. Consummating a marriage gives divorced guys a leg up on pure bachelors in the bedroom.
Lewis addsthat she has actually seen this in her own dating experiences.
"I have dated divorced men who've admitted they wish they had been more romantic, listened more, brought their wives flowers more often or had been more complimentary to their women," she says. He's "house-broken." Already having been married, divorced men come "trained," as Lewis puts it."They seem to naturally offer to do things that a lot of never-been-married don't think to do for another person," taking her car for an oil change to bringing her breakfast in bed. Carroll adds, in addition to being less attentive, men who have never been married typically need time to learn basic things like putting the seat down to letting their partners cry it out without trying to fix the issue.10.
"They don't shy away from a conversation about relationships, marriage, love and intimacy." Adds Bizzoco, "Even though his previous marriage didn't work out, dating shows he's willing to open himself up to love and that he's interested in something serious again."4. Men naturally want to "fix" things and problem solve, life coach and dating expert Brooke Lewis points out, which can translate into a post-divorce desire for a successful new relationship.
We asked experts—and women who've dated (and even married!
) divorcés—to explain the many upsides to seeing a formerly married man.1. As a marriage unravels, "wives are pretty verbal about what they perceive their husbands did wrong," whether it be too much time at the office or being an awful communicator, says marriage and family therapist Rachel Sussman.
"Men with kids understand your schedule, lifestyle, priorities and responsibilities because they have a similar life experience," she says.11. At the very least, Moore says, divorcés are more money-savvy than pure bachelors.
Odds are, "the divorced man has completed his education and is more settled in his career," since he had already hit the married life stage.