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The follow-up after a first date is rarely as simple as: "I like you, I had fun, let's get together again." There are layers of meaning in texts to unpack, not to mention timing: who reaches out first and how quickly does the other person respond? Either party can play coy because a) Low bar, we know, but hear us out.

Though seeing the date through to its end may seem like an obligation for most people, Santos says there *are* exceptional dating disasters where you have to cut it short for your own sanity.

The alternative: "If I'm not interested after the date, I'll head straight home and begin my process of fading out of this girl's life (following up is not part of that process)." Of course, not hearing back right away isn't a definite rejection, but the excitement of a speedy follow-up message speaks for itself.

When you don't get that speedy affirmation text, or a greeting within a few days, it can mean a number of things.

"One tactic to combat a boring date," he says, "is calling in 'reinforcement' friends" as social buffers.

This is why I created the 2/2/2 rule to screen men through the online dating process.

This is why I say you should wait 5-6 weeks before he’s your boyfriend.

Again, I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment; I will only point out as a dating coach that it tends to lead to sub-optimal results from men because they didn’t have to do anything special to get into bed with you.

Note: there will be no comments about slut-shaming, since no one is shaming anyone, nor calling anyone a slut.

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